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In the familiar Kübler-Ross “grief stages,” denial is the beginning of the journey and acceptance is the final destination.
But grief is not linear, nor can it be neatly packaged or compartmentalized into logical phases.
As the five-year mark of the tragedy approaches, we still struggle. We have raised tens of thousands of dollars for charity. Our focus is staying married and healthy and beating dismal odds.
We have raised awareness and provide funding for programs that reduce social isolation and promote community and connection to reduce violence. And yet for our family, the shock that this is your life for the rest of your life? This level of shock/denial isn't uncommon or even remotely something we should pathologize.